( he knows he's overstepping — or at least thinks he is, pressing this close, invading vash's personal space like this — but he can't quite pull himself away from him,because it feels good and it feels right, though ti stands to reason that he's wanted this kind of closeness for so long that he's only convincing himself that there's something there that really isn't.
because he's pushing him away, isn't he? that hand against his chest, while it might be soaking up his warmth it isn't letting him any closer, either, and there's something about that that makes his heart sink a bit in his chest. like he knows he's trying for something futile, but he has to try anyway, just to be able to say he did it in the first place.
he hears the sound that comes out of him — the whine that isn't — and he wants to chase after it, he wants to feel it on his lips and taste it on his tongue, wants to feel it all the way down to his goddamned bones but he doesn't want to press too far. doesn't want to scare him off just because he has the impulse control of a toddler when he's around him.
damn it, spikey.
nicholas exhales through his nose, a warm, slow puff of air against vash's neck as he pulls back a fraction of an inch, pausing because even something so simple makes it feel like they're miles apart again; one hand slips up to cradle the edge of his jaw very, very briefly, a phantom touch more than anything else, and only because he can't stop himself from it. it feels like he's losing something he'd never even had to begin with. )
Yeah, a'right. ( he withdraws completely then, taking his touch and its warmth back with it, bending to retrieve the punisher and hauling it up onto his shoulder as easily as anything. he steps away, turns away, and his chest aches in a way he can't quite put words to. )
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-11-17 04:52 pm (UTC)because he's pushing him away, isn't he? that hand against his chest, while it might be soaking up his warmth it isn't letting him any closer, either, and there's something about that that makes his heart sink a bit in his chest. like he knows he's trying for something futile, but he has to try anyway, just to be able to say he did it in the first place.
he hears the sound that comes out of him — the whine that isn't — and he wants to chase after it, he wants to feel it on his lips and taste it on his tongue, wants to feel it all the way down to his goddamned bones but he doesn't want to press too far. doesn't want to scare him off just because he has the impulse control of a toddler when he's around him.
damn it, spikey.
nicholas exhales through his nose, a warm, slow puff of air against vash's neck as he pulls back a fraction of an inch, pausing because even something so simple makes it feel like they're miles apart again; one hand slips up to cradle the edge of his jaw very, very briefly, a phantom touch more than anything else, and only because he can't stop himself from it. it feels like he's losing something he'd never even had to begin with. )
Yeah, a'right. ( he withdraws completely then, taking his touch and its warmth back with it, bending to retrieve the punisher and hauling it up onto his shoulder as easily as anything. he steps away, turns away, and his chest aches in a way he can't quite put words to. )
Let's go.